{'Tis the Season}

Hey there, Friend! Been a while. The last we spoke; I had just reopened my shop after an unexpected hiatus. It's no secret I have been thinking about permanently closing my shop. Though it seems like I *Just* opened it, (and in the grand scheme of things, it is still in its infancy) there are several factors that have pushed me to the final decision that, indeed, I will be closing Ghost Rose Art.

Does that mean I will erase my website, too? No.

Does it mean that I will quit making art? No.

Does it mean that I will stop selling art all together? That one is a little tricky.

Today I participated in another 'Art and Market.' Last year was the first time I tried it out. It was low pressure---a reasonable price for the table, an easy sign-up process, and an extremely organized event. Though I remember being scared out of my gourd last year, in the end, it was one of my favorite art events. The community truly rallied together, and I felt so welcome. I ended up making up for the cost of the table and my holiday art prints, plus turning a small profit as well.

So this year, I doubled the amount of work. I put in so much overtime (because unlike last year, I am also working a day job), and I truly felt confident for this market. I knew what to expect. I was EXCITED, even.

The day went well. Everyone was friendly, the event was organized, and I was able to see some friends. But...and here's the tough part...it was not, in terms of profit, a successful day for me. I did not even come close to breaking even for the cost of supplies. Not to mention the hours and hours and hours I put in to create the work. I didn't mind working 12+ hour workdays. I enjoyed it even though it was hard. So hard. But...at some point, you have to admit that something is a bit of a failure. In many ways, I think it was a positive market for me. But in the ways that make my already weak bit of confidence about the future of Ghost Rose Art, it has made me truly decide that I am making some changes.

1. As stated before, I will be closing my Etsy shop.

2. I will be deleting my social media (facebook & instagram)

3. I will continue to share via the website/blog, but it will be more personal work instead of "products"

4. My last art market will be on New Year's Eve...at least for now. (Never say never, right?)

This may all seem depressing, but quite honestly, I am feeling pretty good about my decisions. I am incredibly busy at my day job, of which I love, and I don't mind focusing on that. I also want to take more opportunities to focus on personal work like music, writing, and yes, ART, but art for me. Not art for other people.

I think by eliminating social media, it will help me to stay focused...to 'stay in my own lane,' if you will. I have a lot of goals for the upcoming months, and most of that will require me to stay present and try to keep any anxiety at bay. Some people...social media works for them. But me? It never has. I adore sharing my life and sharing my photos, but at the end of the day, I'm spending countless hours being a ghost. Which...yeah. Ironic, I know.

Anyway, I don't want to be negative on here. But I do need to be honest. I've only been home for a couple of hours, so I have not really been able to process my feelings fully yet. I think by tomorrow, I will feel better. But for now, I feel defeated. I thought it would actually be a good time to write so that people understand that creating art is HARD. But sharing it in the world is even harder. It requires a bravery that you just cannot prepare for and cannot get used to. It's absolutely worth it, but it's absolutely devastating some days.

For the rest of my night, I'm going to start working on the last sale of my Etsy shop. The plan is to upload all of my new items by tomorrow and have a Shop Closing Sale for Black Friday. Plus, with this other art show on NYE, I'm hoping to make up some of the lost money for my latest art prints and stickers. It's not a big deal if I don't turn a profit, but that certainly would be a nice way to end the year.

So that's all from me for now. Like I said, I'm really hoping to keep this website updated more often now that I don't have other social media to focus on. I've always enjoyed sharing the process of creating art and talking about behind-the-scenes moments. It's not always glamourous, but it IS always worth it, even when at times it can seem impossible.

I hope that you are doing well. And I hope this blog update doesn't discourage you if you're working on a project...whether that's art, music, health...whatever inspires you. Keep at it. Understand that failure is part of it. It's okay to admit defeat, it's okay to step away sometimes, but just remember it will always be there for you when you want to get back at it again. <3

This year's table. I was super proud of how I played around with height and really embraced the more GOTHIC side of my art.