A Failed Fundraiser

Lately I’ve been thinking about my “why.” Meaning, what is the purpose for your career, your values, your beliefs for WHY do you do the things that you do? Why does it matter? It’s something that kept popping up when I worked at the university. I thought about this when I stopped interpreting. When I paused playing music. And when I took a step back from making art. All of these things that I’ve dedicated so much of my time and effort, often facing failure and criticism; WHY? 

A few months ago, I started seeing news articles about an animal testing lab in Wisconsin called Ridglan Farms. 2,000+ beagles exposed to inhumane practices, without numbing or anesthesia, and being bred in captivity for the sole purpose of experimentation. The reason why this was gaining such huge media attention is because animal activists were making some huge moves to rescue these dogs and potentially close the facilities forever. Seeing the conditions these beagles were living in was absolutely devastating. I couldn’t look away. 

I’ve always been a huge animal-lover. I grew up with rescue animals. I’ve been a vegetarian for over 14 years. I do the occasional fundraiser or post to help support local animal shelters. But when I saw the news about the Ridglan Beagle Rescue, I knew I had to do more. This, to me, felt like my WHY. 

Unfortunately, I’m not exactly in a position to go protest and potentially go to jail. I’m also not currently in strong financial standing now that I’m working at a part time job. But what do I have? Time. Lots of it. So that’s when I started planning to create a major fundraiser for the Beagle Freedom Project. 

I decided to open Pet Portrait Commissions. 100% of all the proceeds would go directly to the BFP. For several weeks, I mapped out the logistics: different donation tiers, poster designs, updating social media, creating bookmarks and postcards to give to all those who donate, etc. I lost track of how many hours I dedicated to all of the planning, but it felt so worth it to me. When I wanted to give up, I would see another video about a beagle who was rescued and it just made me work even harder. As I provided sneak peeks and updates, I had some feedback from family and friends that was really encouraging. Though I felt nervous about handling money and the hours required to draw the commissions, my WHY made me feel brave. 

The time finally arrived: Commissions were now open. I put my phone away, went to work, then held my breath when I came home that evening–ready to see if we reached our $500 goal. 

And then? 

And then…nothing. Crickets. 

Okay, maybe the timing was off. Maybe posting on a Sunday wasn’t a good day. So I waited a few days. When I still heard nothing, I posted a small reminder at a time when I knew people were home and on their phones. 

Still nothing. 

I felt heartbroken. Not because people weren’t interested in my art. But because I failed these beagles. Literally the only thing I was able to do to help. And it wasn’t enough. 

In the end, I did receive a couple of direct donations. One from a theater friend who is a beagle mom. But the others were my parents and my husband. I am SO grateful for their support. But none of them ordered a commission. 

A few weeks later an animal shelter in my community had received ten beautiful rescue beagles.  I decided that I wasn’t ready to give up. If I couldn’t provide my time as an artist, I was going to provide my time as a volunteer. So I filled out the volunteer form, took the five hours of online training, attended orientation, and have since started volunteering a couple days a week. I clean the kennels, let the dogs outside, and spend some time brushing, petting, and cuddling with them. It has been an overwhelming rush of emotions these last few weeks, but finding a way to provide direct help for animals who really need it has made my heart sing. It’s really, really, REALLY hard work. And it’s also gross, I’m not going to lie. So much dog poop. 

But on my first volunteer shift, I was able to meet the only rescue beagle who was left, Sesame. She was cuddling with one of the staff members. She looked calm and safe…which was all I’ve ever wanted for any animal. To see the direct impact an animal shelter has made every failed fundraiser worth it. 

I know this may be a bit of a strange update for an art website, but I think it’s an important lesson to learn as an artist. Use what you have to try and make an impact. And when that doesn’t work? Keep going. Find a different way to achieve your goal. Find your why. And fight like hell for it. 

If you’re curious about how you can help with the Beagle Freedom Project, feel free to donate directly to the organization: https://bfp.org/

I also highly recommend reaching out to your local animal shelters. They always have wish lists. They always have fundraising events. And they always need volunteers. <3